I am pretty sure I’ve had an addictive personality since birth. I always tried to fill the empty void inside of me with more love, attention, toys, friends, money, and material objects. That carried into my life as I grew older – especially once I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
Even that was never enough. I always went above and beyond to get my fix, whether it be a drink or a drug. I ended up destroying my relationships, abandoning my children, getting arrested on multiple occasions, and going to rehab many times. I was even homeless. But nothing would stop me from wanting to get drunk or high.
Four years ago in 2019, I was homeless, hopeless, broken, and lost, walking down the streets of Clearwater, Florida, ready to die. I did not want to live. I was headed in a direction where I did not think I would ever see any of my children again.
However, God had different plans for me. I ultimately hit rock bottom in that moment of complete defeat. I was spiritually broken. I finally surrendered to a higher power and to a program of recovery on Feb. 21, 2020. On that day, I started the journey to recovery that I am on right now.
Today, I am over three years clean and sober. I have my children and my family back in my life, and cherish an amazing relationship with my father. My heart is filled with hope and love. I am not homeless, and plan to buy a house next month. I am not broken anymore, but am still a work in progress. I am also far from lost; I know what direction I am going. My higher power has me on the most beautiful path I have ever walked down in my life. I want to live, and I feel so alive today! It just keeps getting better! It is all thanks to my higher power, whom I choose to call God, and working on a recovery program to the best of my ability every day.
I also went from client to employee here at Mountainside, and I now work at the men’s Extended Care Program. We all do recover one day at a time. The best is yet to come, so stay strong in your recovery and wait for the miracle to happen. Trust me – it will.