I spent most of my youth as a people pleaser. The idea of authenticity was challenging for me. I always wondered where I fit in and what people thought of me. I was afraid to speak my truth and be the person I wanted to be. Learning how to speak my truth has been one of the hardest lessons in my recovery. I have had to practice the art of being honest and have heartfelt conversations with people I hold close to my heart. This is certainly going against the grain for me. My initial instinct is to “yes” people to death and tell them whatever they would like to hear – at my own expense. As a sober woman, this is simply not an option anymore.
I have learned that I need to protect my truth. If I am out of alignment with my values, anxiety starts to take over. Once I speak my truth, I am often relieved of all fear and anxiety. The weight on my chest starts to lighten, and I am truly free. It is not that difficult, but I make it seem more difficult when I try to intellectualize everything. When I follow my heart, life becomes simple and takes on a new meaning. It really is true that a problem shared is a problem halved, and if I can be honest with myself and be honest with the people I love and care about, everything falls into place.
By choosing to be honest, I open the door to a whole new life. When I live authentically, I feel most at peace with my recovery and life in general. Every day I choose to keep moving forward.