Life without active addiction is not what I thought it would be. I had expectations of not being able to make it through life without drugs and alcohol. I thought I would have FOMO at the next party, picnic, or concert. How could I possibly manage my trauma and accept my own toxic behaviors without chemically altering myself? To my surprise, life is better, my trauma is healing, my character defects are being lifted. My heart has found gratitude through connection with a Higher Power that required honesty, openness, and willingness.
After finding acceptance and surrender, I found a relief I had never known before. I felt as though years of burdens had been lifted off me. Walking through the doors of Mountainside, I knew I was about to be saved. Saved from myself and my addictions. By giving up control, I learned to allow things to happen for me. I was willing to do the actionable steps, work a program, and allow myself to heal.
When I left Mountainside, I moved to the shoreline of Connecticut for sober living. In my new sober bubble, I started making sober connections. Now I realize many of those new friends became a second family to me. Finding connection brought peace to my soul. I learned I was not alone and that my life could evolve into exactly what I wanted it to be. My life today is filled with a happiness, joyousness, and freedom I didn’t have while in active addiction.
Today with my husband, who I met in the rooms of AA, we can enjoy a life full of fun, love, and adventure. We have fun at BBQ competitions. Enjoying events with friends and family, like concerts and game nights. We also host AA meetings in our yard to help those impacted by the pandemic.