Recovery Through Writing

Last Breath

Last Breath

By Dillan

Back when I was 20, I had an experience I can’t exactly explain. This is a hard memory to go back to, but I remember it very vividly. It was the first time I overdosed. I don’t remember much about the actual using part but more so what occurred while I was out.

I’m guessing on the exterior my body was lifeless ⎼ loosing color. But where I was at, on the inside, is a place I’ll never forget. I was stuck in a deep black hole. It seemed like I was traveling on the darkest rail road tracks. I remember feeling a sense of panic rushing through my body. I felt trapped. It could have been 10 minutes or 10 years. Time didn’t exist in that place. I remember a very stern voice came out of nowhere. It was the most serious tone of voice I have ever heard. Still to this day, I remember the exact words: “you have one more chance kid.” Then a light came in and I came back to life. I don’t exactly know if it was my conscience, my guardian angel, or God himself. All I know is I’ll never forget how I felt hearing those words in that black hole.

The nurse told me I was clinically dead and am beyond lucky to be alive. But even though I almost lost my life that night, I think I knew for the first time what it really feels like to be alive. They say your last breath is exactly as it sounds, your last breath. But in my super natural experience my “last” breath was my first.