Walking the Walk

Just 18 months ago, I was a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict. I hit bottom so hard that I became suicidal on a day-to-day basis. I was isolated from my family and lost almost everything. I knew that I had two options: to die or get help.

Recovery for me started at Mountainside, on September 17th, 2018 – the day I decided to get help and check in to treatment. Mountainside is where honesty first started to show in my life. For me to get the help that I needed, I needed to admit to myself that I had a problem. This was the hardest part. It was what had been keeping me away from recovery. I thought I was “high-functioning” and that my life wasn’t unmanageable, but when I sat down to look at the evidence, this just wasn’t the truth. I am an alcoholic, and my life had become unmanageable.

The honesty then continued for me at Mountainside. I was nervous to open up to anyone because I had never done that before. Little did I know then that this would be the most important thing that I would do while in treatment. I met with a clinician regularly and felt that she was truly listening to me and genuinely interested in my recovery. She helped me learn so much about myself that I never would have otherwise. She became my go-to during my stay there. But this was where the work started for me. For her to help me, I had to tell her everything, and so I did.

Toward the end of my stay, she was trying to work with me to come up with an aftercare plan. This is where I first became open-minded. I knew that my ideas and my solutions had gotten me exactly to where I was sitting at that time. I wanted a better life for myself so badly that I became open to any suggestions and ideas she threw my way. It wasn’t easy. I kept telling her that I had to go home or I needed to do this, that, and the other thing. But deep down, I knew that she had my best interest at heart. I kept coming back to her week after week, and she always remembered everything that I had told her and asked me about the things that were bothering me the week prior. She really cared.

At the end of my stay, I was getting nervous to get back out into the real world, nervous about what life for me would look like without drugs and alcohol. In my last few meetings with my clinician, I really had to become willing. I knew that my life before was terrible and that I didn’t want to go back to it. That I was a hopeless alcoholic who needed help, so I took her suggestions. I never knew what a sober house was, but she suggested that I move into one (along with the rest of the plan that she had made out for me).

18 months later, I can tell you that I am still clean and sober. I lived in a sober house for 7 months while finding my roots in the sober community then moved into a nearby apartment with a woman I met in sobriety, where I still live today. I now have real friends and women in my life who care about me. Today, I can tell you that I got my family back. Today, I can tell you that I am still an alcoholic and addict, but no longer am I a hopeless suffering one. I am a recovering one.

Alumni Spotlight

Finding Joy in Recovery: Q&A with Steve R.

Ever since leaving Mountainside, Steve has found that truth is his best policy. He shares with the Spotlight how he overcomes any urges he may have to use again, what advice he would give to his younger self, and the guest list for his ideal dinner party.

Read More

Time to Vote for Your Favorite Recovery Story!

See all of our finalists and vote for your favorites. We will review the entries and voting results to pick a winner! All winners will be contacted by the end of March. So, don’t wait. Vote today!

Check Out the Finalists

From Around Campus

Hey alumni! Ricky from the Mountainside clinical team here, reminding you that when times are tough, dare to be tougher, stick close to your supports, and reach for help when you need to.

Want to see or share a photo of your favorite spot on campus? Send us an [email](mailto:kendall.svanda@Mountainside.com)!