Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail and How to Change Your Approach

The start of the New Year can offer a clean slate, an opportunity to reset our mental health, modify behaviors that are not working, and the chance to set new goals for the New Year. At the same time, people often unknowingly sabotage these goals within the first two months. What percentage of New Year’s resolutions fail? Approximately 80 percent of people do not see their New Year’s resolutions to fruition. This is why people need to reframe their approach to achieving New Year’s resolutions, adopting the advantages of a growth mindset.

Setbacks in Life Cause People to Give Up

Creating new goals and not achieving New Year’s resolutions, regardless of the reason, can demoralize and deter you from setting goals in the future, or illicit responses such as shame or guilt. 

In my work as a clinician specializing in mental health and substance use disorders, I’m familiar with sobriety and New Year’s resolutions. Shame and guilt are two of the most significant factors that prevent struggling individuals from seeking treatment and pursuing their recovery. 

What is resolution vs. goal? Oxford Languages defines a resolution as “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” This idea is counterintuitive to what we, as therapists, teach our clients struggling with substance misuse: reaching goals is often not so “black and white” and clients must be willing to accept an imperfect path and reroute when necessary. Overcoming resolution failure is challenging and can interfere with recovery goals. 

When people run into setbacks in life—or, in the case of individuals struggling with their relapse prevention plan—they can feel disheartened to continue making firm resolutions. Those with substance use disorders are also contending with a multifaceted condition and can have difficulty overcoming setbacks and challenges.  

Specifically, they must overcome the multi-dimensional aspects of addiction, including genetic factors, trauma history, social circumstances, and physiological addiction, how the body responds to and becomes dependent on substances.

Break Down Resolutions Into Smaller Goals 

Because overcoming addiction can feel like an uphill battle, we highly encourage clients to “stay in the day” while moving towards their goals and give themselves the time, grace, and opportunity to make long-lasting changes. Setting realistic goals and practicing self-compassion can be imperative. 

I recommend making incremental or quarter-inch changes in the direction clients would like to head. Perhaps they want to move toward building stronger relationships with their family, finding rewarding work, or exploring passions that may have been neglected during their alcohol or drug use. 

Other New Year’s goal-setting resolutions might include practicing gratitude or reaching out for help when needed. Think in terms of a resolution example that is small, manageable steps toward larger goals can offer a more sustainable approach to living with and recovering from a substance use disorder.

Reflect and Build Upon Past Achievements

Rather than focusing on resolutions, I tend to focus on yearly reflections for growth with clients. This is an approach that anyone can apply to their goal-setting process, whether they have a history of substance use or not. Self-compassion phrases and positive energy affirmations can go a long way. Developing a positive mindset takes time, but mindset development will be well worth it for you in the long run.

• Identify your successes—what you have done well—over the past year. Celebrate any incremental changes that have moved you toward living a richer and more meaningful life.
• What do you hope to achieve in the New Year? Both big and small, and discuss “why.” For a great New Year’s, It’s essential to identify and validate each person’s reasons for moving toward behavioral changes.
• Identify struggles you encountered during the previous year. Look at how you managed them, who might have helped you, and what you plan to do differently in the future when they encounter difficulties. 

Incorporate Fun and Connection to Improve Success

New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author Jon Acuff of Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done states that “the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism…” and his research has found that “people who have fun are 43 percent more successful” in achieving goals. His research found that when people are engaged in their pursuits, enjoy what they are doing, and find meaning in the process, their efforts are more successful and sustainable.

For many, strengthening their chances of achieving New Year’s resolutions might involve working toward goals in conjunction with others to increase connection and accountability. 

When we do things together, we can celebrate our successes as collective achievements. We have a greater sense of ownership, and we can receive feedback as well as support from those who cheer us on when our intrinsic motivation is lower. Create your support team if that helps you.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I find this framework valuable for anyone who finds behavioral change and mindset development difficult. Most people have struggled with setbacks in life and feelings of discouragement from not achieving New Year’s resolutions. They may feel they lack willpower or automatically assume they are incapable. 

It is important to focus on progress rather than perfection. While obstacles may and often do arise, I recommend to anyone feeling this way to take a pause, identify where they are resilient and resourceful, celebrate the changes they have been able to make, set realistic goals, and focus on hope for the future.