Recovery for me has been a journey of self-discovery. When I put down drugs and alcohol, I had no idea who I was. I was still on a mission to reach outside of myself to replace a void – shopping, relationships, food, whatever would give me some sort of instant gratification. I didn’t know what I was feeling or what I needed. I was seeking myself, chasing after surface things.
Throughout my recovery journey there have been some big (and mostly small) realizations that have helped keep me on a path worth living for. Here are some of those breakthroughs:
- The first day I realized that I hadn’t thought about a drink or drug.
- I began asking for help and stopped living in the lie that I could do this thing all alone.
- That in order to stay sober I needed to rid myself of all of those things that put my recovery at risk.
- I came to understand the true meaning of “Never Alone, Never Again,” when I realized that “those people” in 12 Step were my friends.
- That my problem was much deeper; that it required work and willingness.
- That I needed to start doing things that made me uncomfortable and vulnerable.
- That fear is normal, and that walking through it is how we gain a greater understanding of ourselves.
- To continue to stay on my recovery journey, I need to extend my hands to others in this process.
- Life is not always rainbows and gumdrops; there will be difficult times, but it always passes.
- That I am loved, and I am worthy of love.
Every day is an opportunity to learn something new – to recognize my breakthroughs. There are lessons in all things, great and small. I must face each life with an open heart and know that these are instances to learn, grow, and challenge myself to be a better person.